Authenticity On The Web

Here you'll find my attempt at a post with the aforementioned title, as suggested by Kami via our post title trade! Read more about the initiative, or contact me if you'd also like to trade!

Authenticity. By definition a simple noun, suggesting a genuine state of existence for something. So how did it come to mean so many conflicting things on the internet?

I’m no expert on web history, but here’s what I’ve observed. Isn’t all history personal?

I remember the first time I ever interacted as, well, anything, on the web. I’d turned twelve earlier that year, and for the first time, could experience the internet as an entity that created and left a trace, as opposed to a mere ripple on the pond.

It was on Scratch, a beloved coding website and semi-social network for kids. I learned the fundamentals of coding, yes, but also the basics of internet etiquette and the bizarre social codes and customs I still don’t understand.

Using my real name was out of the question, of course. I wasn’t even 13! I chose a random string of numbers and letters as my username with little-to-no thought. (Didn’t realize you couldn’t change it! It helps to research these things first.)

As I entered the dreaded teenage years and decided the faceless public’s opinion was the most important factor in any decision I make (an unhelpful bias I regret to say I’m still learning my way out of) I realized I had to come up with an ‘identity.’ Pseudonymous, yet consistent.

That was the aim at least, but between then and setting up my current website, I cycled through about ten different ‘existences’ both online and off. The one thing that remained, though, was I’d never ever show my real name on the internet. Or my face.

So what changed?

Before using my name as my internet address and putting photos of myself online, the debate raged in my head for months: ‘authenticity’ versus safety, vulnerability versus protection.

Even now, the question feels complicated. What does ‘authenticity’ mean in digital spaces?

• Is it using your legal name? I do...almost.
• Posting unfiltered photos? Define ‘filtered.’
• Sharing the messy parts of your life alongside the highlight reel? Again, define ‘messy.’

Or is it consistency between who you are offline and who you present yourself as online? And if it is, why would we want to be the same? Sure, I value a world where we don’t have to hide parts of ourselves marginalized by society, and one where we treat all with kindness and courtesy, but aren’t we all fractured into a million different selves? Even in the ‘real world?’

Me writing this isn’t the same self as the one standing in line at passport control, nor the guy buying things at the supermarket, or the person writing the email you receive.

Words change meaning so fast I struggle to keep up. So why don’t we define the term for ourselves? When I moved away from social media and toward my corner of the web...something shifted. I found space to discover how, when and where I wanted to be seen.

The ‘authentic self’ isn’t fixed or singular. Nothing about us is and ever will be.

All that matters about existing on the internet? Be intentional. And most of all? Kind.

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